Monday, February 27, 2006

turn the page

It's funny as you get older (not old, just older) how your perception of permanence and value changes. Once if someone entered and/or left my life then whole thing seemed to have a kind of poetic dramatic element to it. If a friend, even a relatively new one, moved away or declared themselves to no longer be a friend, there was a feeling of loss - lost time, lost emotion, lost expectation - as if you'd shared part of yourself openly only to have it be a bust.

Now people can be invested and divested, imbued and disimbued with meaning with relative ease. I think it's a testament to how callous we are, or perhaps just that I am. But, we cannot escape all parts of our culture, and certainly this one functions as a coping aid in a variety of situations. It's a fine line between maturity/reality and simply not caring anymore. I cannot say that the lines do not blur my vision - perhaps more often than not.

I've been down this road once or twice before, and the directions remain the same, there's a sign post up ahead, and I know what it says, it can't open my eyes. As for destiny, I do not believe it is the God of Love. God heardened the heart of this Saul a long time ago, and the hardened will not listen. He will never listen. He cannot hear it. We cannot hear Him, however much we think we can.

Here I am, on the road again
here am, up on the stage,
There I go, playing star again,
There I go, turn the page.

-Bob Seger


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